I haven't done a plain old blog post in a while have I? It's all been lists and advertisements and blah blah blah. Well in honor of the fact that I'm still awake and it's 12:30 (WAAAAY past my bed-time) I thought I'd ramble on for a bit. Let's start with how I'm doing. Generally I'm feeling pretty well. School's started up again and it's been good so far. My new classes (Brit Lit, Ethics, Nonfiction Workshop, Humanities 2) all seem to be pretty solid and I think I'm going to have some fun this semester and learn a lot. There's definitely a couple places where I feel I'm struggling though and unfortunately those places are the most important ones.
The first is in a subtle loneliness. I feel as though I've come a very long way with my anxiety issues and the day to day but I often still feel lonely at times if I'm being honest with myself. I feel like I have a hard time making friends and meeting new people in New Hampshire. I love the friends I've made and appreciate everything they do but it seems like all my friends are from high school. Despite my best efforts I can't help feeling, at times, that I am per chance slightly unlovable.
Everything in the above paragraph leads into the second stumbling and struggling in my life - which is church. I'm not sure who's reading this or who will be reading this but I feel that I really need to find a church around here so if anybody has any ideas please let me know. I find it more and more difficult to find a solid church where I really fit in the older I get. Perhaps it's simply the changing times or the area I live in but it has been difficult nonetheless. I remember a few years ago feeling as though everything made sense and God had brought me to this point in my life after so many moves and changes for a reason. I still believe that but I feel like some of that feeling of direction has faded and I want to find it again.
Well before things get too depressing I should inform you that I received a letter the other day informing me that I'm on the President's List at my university after last semester's straight A's (w00t!) and every class I take I feel I am closer to becoming the writer I want to be. Speaking of which, I don't know if I've mentioned my novel much on here ("Hunting the Seven") but I am still working on it. I actually have a query letter worked out and the novel has been completely edited several times now. As I take new classes and grow in my writing though, and I can't help but go back for one more edit. Hopefully this summer will be the summer I finally send it out to some publishers and see if it'll catch. I really feel like I'm finally ready.
I'd say that's probably enough rambling for now though so I'll leave you with a song to inspire (though it may not seem like it at first). Deathbed by Relient K is by far one of my favorite songs of all time. Here it is:
Make sure you listen to and read the incredible lyrics. God's grace is completely and wholly awesome and undeniable.
I'd also like to share another one of my all-time favorite songs that I share with everyone. Some of the best advice I can think of. Enjoy!
~Ben Gentry
No comments:
Post a Comment